Wednesday 26 August 2015

S#!t My Family Says. Volume 2

This morning I was canning peaches with my kids and it prompted me to do another edition of "Shit My Family Says".  I will start with this mornings discussion.

1) Austin: "Mom can you give me a clean hand job?" (He was peeling the peaches and wanted a job that wouldn't get his hands dirty.)
Levi: "Austin, you can do the dishes, that is a clean hand job but careful of the soap, it can sometimes be a slippy hand job. You don't want my job, it's a sticky hand job." (It took every fiber of my being to keep from laughing.)

2) Levi: "Would you two just coopercate with each other?" (Arthur and I were arguing over something. I think he wanted us to cooperate... or communicate....)

3) Austin: "Mom I am not really cute. I would rather be called cool. That's ok with me."

4) Austin: "That's not my name you fool!" Said to the man in the cafeteria line up on the ferry. Austin was mistaken for Spiderman...since he was wearing the full suit.

5) Arthur: "Where is our bedspread?"
Me: "We don't have one... never have."
Arthur: "Yes, we have. Where is it?"
Me: "Ok, what colour is it?"
Arthur: (Long pause) "Bedspread colour."

6) Me to Levi: "We live in paradise."
Levi: "Mom, we aren't in Disneyland."

7) Austin: "Mom! Smell what was behind my ears!" (Oh the joy of living with boys.)

8) Austin: "Mom, I am NOT going in that cat pool." (Turns out he thought we were saying kitty pool and not kiddy pool.)

9) Levi: "Mom I was just checking my penis for cat hair." (um....)

10) Levi to Arthur: "Mom is like a polar bear. She is one of the most deadliest animals in the world."

11) Austin to Aunty Jen: "Aunty Jen, do you have crabs?" He was looking at her Pandora bracelet was wondered why there would be a crab on it.

12) Austin when I wanted him to have a shower: "Mom, I'm freaking clean!"