Owning fears.

     Fear. Its hiding in every one of us. It rears its ugly head at the most unexpected moments, stops us from doing fun things, and in some cases we pass on our fears to our kids. I am the first to tell you, I am afraid of many things, most of them irrational, like bouncy castles. But some fears are real and not uncommon, like my fear of deep water. I don't even know where it came from but it has always been with me. When my little ones were very young, I was worried that I was passing my fear onto them. Especially my youngest, who would always cling to me in the water. I knew that summer that I needed to change.

 

     So there I went, set out to overcome my fear. I knew it wouldn't be over night, it may even take years, but I was committed. The next time we went to the lake, I brought goggles. I spent half the day with my head in the water, just getting familiar with the underwater world. It really helped to make me feel more comfortable. There really wasn't anything scary down there. And lets face it, we are swimming in a lake in BC. There are no huge fish, sharks or whales...or anything big enough to take a bite out of me. Year after year, for the next three years, I worked at overcoming my fear. I talked myself into getting in for a swim off the boat, I jumped off the diving board at the pool and last year I got talked into tubing. I screamed the entire time.

 

     Today we went to the lake again and I knew that today was the day I would overcome. I would be able to cross something off my bucket list that I wasn't sure I ever would. "Own my fears" I waited until the end of the day, most people had already gone home and the lake was quiet. I took my lifejacket off and handed it to my husband and asked him to follow me in the boat...in case I couldn't make it. I set off on my swim. I swam 500 meters from the beach, across the water to a small island. It took me a while, I had to pause a couple times, but I did it!!! I finished, without panicking, I swam without help and I didn't die!! I can't tell you how it felt to touch the rocks of that island. I had overcome. I still feel proud and grateful to have done it. I share this victory with my friend Eli, who pushed me to face my fears every chance she got. Thank you!