Taking care

Taking care of yourself. What does that even mean? Especially as a mom and wife.....

Over the past ten years I have been going, going, going. I kept so busy that I didn't even have time to think. Between being a mom of two busy boys and a self proclaimed "do it all junkie" I did not take the time for myself... never mind even pretend to know what that would look like. So here I am, one mental breakdown later, left with only myself to pick up the pieces. The past week I have been looking back, wondering how I can do things differently moving forward. First of all, I said I would take a whole year off and I am sticking to it. I will still run my business and I will still run my weekly bootcamps. I will not however, do much of anything else except perfect the art of self care.

Realizing that self care was needed in my life did not come overnight. Even just the words, "self care" were foreign to me. It made me think of selfishness. I was suffering from depression and anxiety attacks. (and would still be without the medication) I think these two go hand in hand. If you don't take care of your mind and body, it will fail you, you will suffer. They both also seem to follow the same stigma. Call it what you want, mental illness, depression, chronic fatigue.... They all get lumped into the category of things we don't talk about or acknowledge, along with self care. Yes, external factors were partly responsible for my mental breakdown, but I would not have gone as far down the rabbit hole if I were taking great care of myself.

I have come a long way in six months. I have learned to take time away from responsibilities, I have discovered the world of essential oils and the great things they can do, I have learned to meditate, be mindful and present, and I have learned that only I am responsible for the outcome of my life. I have an opportunity to either move forward with my past as part of me or let it control me. I chose life. I am learning that self care means more than just taking care of yourself. It means to let others do so as well. Realizing that I am worth the time of others is a huge step. I am worth a massage, I am worth a yoga class, I am worth the time and effort. It still sounds selfish to me, but my goal is to get over it. I believe my future depends on it. If I can't take care of myself, what sort of message and I sending my growing boys?? I would not want them to look at themselves the way I look at myself. Ever. And I know that if I am taken care of, I will be happier. I will be a better person to be around and be more focused for my growing family. So I leave you with this, you want a massage, a pedicure, a new book, a dinner out...? Whatever it is, treat yourself, because you are worth it. You, me, we are all worth the effort. No matter what you may be telling yourself.