Saturday 18 October 2014

For my friends

When I was growing up I was taught that friends are not important. I was always told that friends are people who would stab you in the back the first chance they got, were only looking out for themselves, and are not worth the time. My mom would say, "You will always have me and your family." I grew up believing it. Turns out, all of that was a huge steaming pile of shit.

This has been a bit of a tough year for me. In the new year I lost all hope for any further relationship with my parents. They started a battle they could never win and for the safety of my boys and the solidarity of my marriage, I walked away.  Later in the year we lost my uncle, and a few months after that my aunt passed away. This past month, things are changing again. My husband, who has always been the breadwinner, was out of work for too long. We were charging groceries to the credit card and watching as out debt rose to an uncomfortable level. I started working for the first time in six years. My friends have been there for me every step of the way. They have offered help with the kids, an ear, a shoulder to cry on, and someone to hug me. My friends have taught me that I am not and will never be alone. They have encouraged me and cared for me. They have reassured me in times of despair and never ever tried to stab me in the back.

This week has been difficult for my family and my friends have again shown me how awesome they are. I am constantly humbled by the love and support around me. I want to say and extra thank you to my best friend, who took my son when Arthur had a fire call, and brought him to me at work for some much needed mommy cuddles. Thank you to my mother-in-law for taking Austin so we could focus on Levi in his time of need. Thank you to a beautiful shinning soul who brought me a meal in jar, just because. That meal came at the absolute perfect time. Thank you to the friend who cleaned my kitchen table so that I could actually see it for the first time in two weeks. Thank you to my new friend who offered support and her services as a babysitter so I can run next weekend. Thank you to my neighbour/friend who came to the rescue to watch the kids so Arthur and I could get an hour out on a Friday night. Thank you to the friend who offered a full day of fort building and face painting for my kids so Arthur and I could reconnect. Thank you to the friends who think of me for their families cake and cupcake needs. Your support is so much appreciated. Thank you to the friends who listened and allowed me to bounce ideas off them. Thank you to the friends who didn't let me miss a workout this week because they knew I needed it.

I can say with 100% certainty and with every fibre of my being, that friends are worth the time and they ARE important.  

Wednesday 1 October 2014

I have joined the ranks.

I have been many things.  I have spent some time as a know it all, bank teller, a waitress, Subway restaurant owner, a diva, a booboo fixer, taxi driver, and now I can add something very special. I have joined the ranks of "SUPERHERO" Yes that's right, I am now a working mother.

When I had my boys it was decided that one of us would always be home with them. Even as they grew up and were in school, we wanted someone to be available to them all the time. Someone to pick them up and make them chicken soup when they are not feeling well, someone to call in sick on a snow day, or just to walk them to the classroom...every day. I just always assumed that person would be me. It wasn't until recently that things changed. My husband Arthur is now that person and I have taken on the momentousness task of becoming a superhero.

I am lucky. I love my job. Mind you, it's only been three shifts, but this job was meant for me. I get to pick out cute clothes every day, have a reason to wear make-up and brush my hair every morning, and I get to work with people. I get free coffee and the food there is awesome too!

As the days go on, I realize why working mothers are graced with the title of superhero. This is how things have changed...and in some cases, stayed the same:

* The time I get to spend with my kids is fleeting. So those moments are spent with 100% appreciation for the crazy little people they are.

* I still have to do the dishes, make the meals, get the laundry done and clean the house.

* I no longer fold bed sheets or towels. They get crammed into the closet. I also gave up on matching socks. Who the hell has time for that?!

* My needs come last...for now.

* I feel great pride in being able to support my family.

* I love not being the boss! But there are times when that diva poker her head out and wants to make changes or do things differently!

* It is amazing how fast I can do my hair and make-up, make two lunches and breakfast for four people, all the while playing referee to two boys who are fighting for the galaxy!

* I drink an obscene amount of coffee.

* I value more all the things I get to do, like spending time dancing, boot camp with my closest friends, or time watching tv with my husband.

* I turn into a pumpkin at around 10pm.

* I now pick my shoes based on how much I think my feet will hurt after a shift. There is no sitting down at work.

* I miss my kids when I am away from them more than usual.

* Money spent is now judged by hours worked. Like dinner out is an entire day worth of work?!

*  My brain really wont turn off now!

* I bit off more than I can chew.... but that is pretty typical with me. And I will come out on top, smiling, because I always do.

*  I will still dance three nights a week, do boot camp twice a week, raise money for the food bank, bake cakes, teach my kids how to have fun, be a wife, a mother, and now a superhero, because these are all things I love. Yes, I might go crazy, but I can sleep when I am dead! No one will ever say I wasted this life away. It was a gift given to me, and continues to be given everyday... I will not squander it.