You want to know what I wish for this Christmas? I wish for quality, people to actually care about the products they make and sell, a world where you can buy something and it stand the test of time. Is that too much to ask?
This time last year, I bought an iPhone. Yes, I foolishly jumped on the bandwagon, paid my $650 and was on my way. With my two year cell contract I knew this new phone, the one that everyone is talking about, will last at least that long. People were talking about this phone like it was the best thing since sliced bread... and it was. I was able to download apps that helped me with meal plans and my kids could play games. (thus keeping them out of my hair) I could go out for dinner with friends, post the pictures of us being silly, check my e-mail, get business orders, and get the crazy call from my husband who couldn't find Austin's blankie... all at the same time. This is why I bought it. The simplicity of being able to rent a movie on the way home, and figure out what workout plan I would be doing that night from the push of a button. I bought into the idea that the iPhone was all I ever needed. All I could possibly want in life.
Let's fast forward to today. Did you know that in the last quarter, Apple Inc. sold 33.8 million iPhones. Let that sink in for a minute. Their net profit was $7.5 billion.... BILLION.
So here is little old me, a small town business owner, a mother, and a wife. A few weeks ago my glorious iPhone stopped working properly. In fact, the WIFI stopped working all together. The whole reason for the iPhone even existing in my books. I took it into the store where I got it from and they advised me that it was simply an operating system issue. Silly me didn't have the time to download the new software, and my finicky iPhone did not like that. So I went on my way. I didn't end up getting to it for over a week. Keep in mind, I have two small children, a business to run, a charity event for 200 people to pull off, and non-profit workout boot camp to run and ya know, showering and stuff. When I finally got to it, it turns out my WIFI still does not work. I took it in again. This time, I am told that it's not a software problem, "Your phone is toast." Um, OK... now what? Turns out I have to send it in to Apple for a replacement phone. And since your warranty expired a few days ago, it will cost you $199. <Insert minor freak out here!> There was nothing they could do for me.
Today I called Apple Inc. Surely they would be able to help me resolve this ridiculous issue. With me just starting a business, my husband just getting back to work after being off work for three months, and Christmas coming up, I just don't have $199 laying around. So I called then with the hope that they would be able to fix my beloved iPhone or at least give me a break on the $199.
First off, a company that has a quarterly net profit of $7.5 billion, should be able to hire a person who can clearly understand English. I am not a racist person, but I literally had to spell out everything, and say everything twice. It was painful for me to have to spell my name three times, then hear him try and say it....Rachel. Easy. I spent one hour on the phone with this man, trying to explain my situation. He finally had to get the manager on the phone. After explaining again to him, he said "Oh, no that's not good." I asked him if there was anything he could do and his response was, "You really should have gotten the extended warranty." Are you kidding me?! You can't sell a product that will last for more than one year?! I paid $650 for this phone. That's a mortgage payment! And now you want me to spend another $199 to get it to work? (Why don't you bend me over and spank my ass while you are at it!) You probably want to sell me the "extended warranty" too I bet. I'm sure this new phone/refurbished phone does not come with a warranty. I proceeded to tell this man that I could not afford that, and I am so upset by this outcome that I will never be buying another Apple product. I will not buy my two kids iPhones or iPads, I will no longer be spending money on Apps, or iTunes songs, movie rentals or eBooks, and my husband will sure as hell no be buying an iPhone. And when my business grows and I need to expand, I will not be buying Apple computers. And I sure as hell won't be telling my friends to buy into the iPhone ideal. I understand that times are tough, and $7.5 billion in sales (for the past QUARTER) is not that much. I also understand that losing me as a customer is not that big of a deal. The money I would have spent over my lifetime as an Apple customer is just a drop in the bucket. But I am sure I am not the only customer who feels violated by this company.
I know things are not going to change overnight. But I have hope that one day, people will care about the products they sell, and the customers they have. Cheers Apple, Happy F-ing Holidays!
Thursday 28 November 2013
Tuesday 26 November 2013
Family
I don't normally get too worked up or stressed out. I try not to sweat the small stuff and I usually just let it go. I don't hold on to grudges and I am willing to forgive and forget. And if I can't work something out, I write about it and forget it. This time, I don't even know where to start....
Someone close to me has betrayed me. A betrayal that is unforgivable and has been haunting me. It's not at all like me to cut ties with someone, but when you threaten my family, I will not get over that. A lifetime of questions have arrised, I wonder what I missed or am yet to find out. It has been eating me alive. I don't know what is bothering me more, the deed that has already been done or the imminent fallout to come. At first, I was raging mad, then I was angry, indifferent, sad, and guilty. Now I can't sleep, and when I do, I dream about it. The stress is coming out in physical ways, like a cold, pulled muscle and a pinch in my shoulder. I think it's time I learn to meditate!
If someone you knew made you feel like this, would you keep them in your life? I feel the need to protect my kids and my husband. If that means forgoing one relationship, I will. People have told me that I have to find a way to live peacefully with this person. Why? Life is too short, and I know that more than anyone. My men are the most important thing to me. But not only that, what about my sanity... Do I want to spend the rest of my life walking on eggshells, worrying about they might do, or what they are telling my kids? Why do I need to swallow it down and move on?
And the answer is, I don't. I did not make the bad decisions that resulted in this outcome. It will take me a while to get over it, and in fact I may never get over it. But one day I will be glad I made this decision. My husband is the best person for me. He will always be on my side, protect me and love me...unconditionally. And the same goes for my two boys. They are all I need in this world. <3
Someone close to me has betrayed me. A betrayal that is unforgivable and has been haunting me. It's not at all like me to cut ties with someone, but when you threaten my family, I will not get over that. A lifetime of questions have arrised, I wonder what I missed or am yet to find out. It has been eating me alive. I don't know what is bothering me more, the deed that has already been done or the imminent fallout to come. At first, I was raging mad, then I was angry, indifferent, sad, and guilty. Now I can't sleep, and when I do, I dream about it. The stress is coming out in physical ways, like a cold, pulled muscle and a pinch in my shoulder. I think it's time I learn to meditate!
If someone you knew made you feel like this, would you keep them in your life? I feel the need to protect my kids and my husband. If that means forgoing one relationship, I will. People have told me that I have to find a way to live peacefully with this person. Why? Life is too short, and I know that more than anyone. My men are the most important thing to me. But not only that, what about my sanity... Do I want to spend the rest of my life walking on eggshells, worrying about they might do, or what they are telling my kids? Why do I need to swallow it down and move on?
And the answer is, I don't. I did not make the bad decisions that resulted in this outcome. It will take me a while to get over it, and in fact I may never get over it. But one day I will be glad I made this decision. My husband is the best person for me. He will always be on my side, protect me and love me...unconditionally. And the same goes for my two boys. They are all I need in this world. <3
Wednesday 13 November 2013
A mothers frustration
When I decided to have kids, I didn't really think about it. I didn't think about loosing out on all that sleep, or how my body would be forever changed, or how my brain would be re-wired. All of these things were a rude awakening for me. Don't get me wrong, I am thankful for every dead-tired, loud and messy moment. My kids are a beautifully perfect version of my husband and I. I have had to learn to be a better person, to have more patience, and know that it's not about me any more. There are a lot of things that are different. But I think the hardest reality for me (and most mom's out there) is most people's expectation that they have carte blanche when it comes to giving you advise on how to raise your kids.
I am not perfect, and I will be the first one to tell you that. I struggle with life in general all the time. I hate it when I yell at my kids. But we all do it. I feel enough guilt for ten people, you don't need to add to it, thanks. I try hard to make the right choices for my family, and they are MY choices. Whether they are right or wrong, they are the choices that I have to live with. I am so tired of women judging other women, especially mom's. Mom's have the hardest job on the planet. We carry the weight of the world, we have bad days. Get over it! I am tired to people telling me how I should act, how I should discipline my child, how I should not let my kids have fun.
I understand that some people will see me at my worst moment and be compelled to judge me. But that is one moment. One moment out of the millions I will spend with my family. So if you feel so bothered my actions as a mother, keep it to yourself. And know this; I love my boys more than life itself. They mean the world to me. I am so thankful for their twenty little toes, their amazing personalities and their love. I am their guardian and protector. So next time you see a woman yelling at her kids to get in the car, or talking to them in a tone that doesn't agree with you, remember this: "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all."
I am not perfect, and I will be the first one to tell you that. I struggle with life in general all the time. I hate it when I yell at my kids. But we all do it. I feel enough guilt for ten people, you don't need to add to it, thanks. I try hard to make the right choices for my family, and they are MY choices. Whether they are right or wrong, they are the choices that I have to live with. I am so tired of women judging other women, especially mom's. Mom's have the hardest job on the planet. We carry the weight of the world, we have bad days. Get over it! I am tired to people telling me how I should act, how I should discipline my child, how I should not let my kids have fun.
I understand that some people will see me at my worst moment and be compelled to judge me. But that is one moment. One moment out of the millions I will spend with my family. So if you feel so bothered my actions as a mother, keep it to yourself. And know this; I love my boys more than life itself. They mean the world to me. I am so thankful for their twenty little toes, their amazing personalities and their love. I am their guardian and protector. So next time you see a woman yelling at her kids to get in the car, or talking to them in a tone that doesn't agree with you, remember this: "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all."
Tuesday 12 November 2013
Confessions
Confessions. Sometimes it just feels good. I also like to do it because I know there are others out there who have done the same things. It's nice not to feel alone.
Here they are in no particular order:
Here they are in no particular order:
- I once ate my child's entire advent calendar...before I even gave it to him.
- I ate a whole large pizza to myself.
- I will google a word probably three times a day, and will sometimes change my entire sentence to avoid a word I can't spell.
- I love the smell of arm pits. Especially a man's after a hard days work.
- I also love the smell of cute little baby feet. (I know, I am totally weird)
- I sneak into my kids room at night just to look at how big they are getting.
- I want more babies, but I am scared that if I do, I wont be a good enough mom to them all.
- I wish I was cooler and had a better sense of style.
- It bothers me that certain people in my life don't support me. They won't even read this...
- I have a secret desire to be pulled over by a cop and try to talk myself out of a ticket.
- When I lay in bed, sometimes I like to hold my hand on my boob...I don't know why.
- I never worry about what people think of me, but sometimes I think I should.
- I wish I could say what I really feel sometimes....
- I like to eat ice cream in the tub.
- Sometimes my son will act to much like me, that it makes me mad at him.
- I wish I would have gone to school to be a fashion designer.
- I once made a whole tray of puffed wheat squares and hid it in my underwear drawer... Ate it within a day.
- I have wanted breast implants ever since high school.
- I kissed a girl and I liked it.
- I don't drink. But sometimes I think I should!
- I wish I was more of a perfectionist.
- I once got so high that I feel off my chair at the dinner table...after eating the topping off an ice cream cake. I was 18.
- I think I am sexier than I actually am.
- I am so terrible at math.
- I think my husband is sexy, even in his blue long johns with white socks pulled over them.
- I had to google "long johns"
- I never got over my sister moving out. I miss her a lot.
- It's been 13 years since my dog died. I want another one, but I still don't think I'm ready. I miss him.
- I cherish my friends. They get me through, and keep me going.
- The Booty Camp Girls saved my life, gave me purpose and keep me fit. I owe them everything.
- I have had to bury cupcakes in the garbage, under something gross, so I won't go back and dig them out.
- I also had to google "gross".
Monday 28 October 2013
Secrets to a happy life.
When I look back at photos of the last two years it still amazes me that life can be this great. I was not always blessed with such awesomeness. I remember many moments thinking 'This CANNOT be what life is about!!' I have been through struggles and heartache, loss and turmoil. But over the past few years I really think I have discovered some secrets to a happy life. So I am here to share them with you!
Secret number one:
You need to remove some words from your vocabulary:
*Perfect: There is no such thing! So why should you worry about it? Either remove it, or change its meaning. Perfect is what you make it... not anyone else!
*Spotless: I hate this word! I don't even know what it means anymore. I was never a very organized person when it comes to my home, and after I had my first child...forget it! Clean-ish is the best you are going to get.
*Can't: A lot of people don't believe they can do things. I believe I can do anything. And that might make me sound crazy, and make me do crazy things, but I love that I can look back with no regrets. That makes me happy!
*Ready: Some people spend their whole life getting ready for something. You may never be "ready" for it...whatever it is, just do it! Don't worry about how, when or where. The more you take leaps without worrying about the consequences, the more fun you will have.
Secret number two:
STOP giving a tiny mouse shit about what anyone thinks of you and what you do! Be your own rockstar! You want to sing, do it! Scream as loud as you can. You want to dance, write a book, be an astronaut, dance in a burlesque show....Do whatever it is that is going to make you happy and don't care about what anyone says about it. There will ALWAYS be people who don't support you, and there will ALWAYS be people who DO! Find those people and thank them.
Secret number three:
Remember that life is so very short. Spend time with the people who care about you, love you and respect you. When you are old and grey, you are NOT going to thankful that you bought your kids i-pads. The things that matter most in life, aren't things at all. I had the privilege of spending the past month with my husband while he took some time off. This past month meant more to me than a new TV, dinners out, or the latest laptop. And I can guarantee that my kids will agree. Stop running around like a chicken with your head cut off and stop running yourself ragged.
It's that simple.
Secret number one:
You need to remove some words from your vocabulary:
*Perfect: There is no such thing! So why should you worry about it? Either remove it, or change its meaning. Perfect is what you make it... not anyone else!
*Spotless: I hate this word! I don't even know what it means anymore. I was never a very organized person when it comes to my home, and after I had my first child...forget it! Clean-ish is the best you are going to get.
*Can't: A lot of people don't believe they can do things. I believe I can do anything. And that might make me sound crazy, and make me do crazy things, but I love that I can look back with no regrets. That makes me happy!
*Ready: Some people spend their whole life getting ready for something. You may never be "ready" for it...whatever it is, just do it! Don't worry about how, when or where. The more you take leaps without worrying about the consequences, the more fun you will have.
Secret number two:
STOP giving a tiny mouse shit about what anyone thinks of you and what you do! Be your own rockstar! You want to sing, do it! Scream as loud as you can. You want to dance, write a book, be an astronaut, dance in a burlesque show....Do whatever it is that is going to make you happy and don't care about what anyone says about it. There will ALWAYS be people who don't support you, and there will ALWAYS be people who DO! Find those people and thank them.
Secret number three:
Remember that life is so very short. Spend time with the people who care about you, love you and respect you. When you are old and grey, you are NOT going to thankful that you bought your kids i-pads. The things that matter most in life, aren't things at all. I had the privilege of spending the past month with my husband while he took some time off. This past month meant more to me than a new TV, dinners out, or the latest laptop. And I can guarantee that my kids will agree. Stop running around like a chicken with your head cut off and stop running yourself ragged.
It's that simple.
Tuesday 17 September 2013
Heart thinker
I am a heart thinker! Loud and proud. I never think about numbers, I don't bother myself with what if's or how's, and true to my astrological sign, I am impulsive and stubborn. Sometimes it gets me into trouble, but more often than not, the outcome is exactly where I want to be.
A few months ago I decided (another impulsive, rock me to my core in the middle of the night) that I was going to purge my crafting emporium and build a commercial kitchen and bake birthday/wedding cakes and cupcakes. I didn't think of how, the cost, the time, or anything. I just knew that I had to do it. When I had my launch on Sunday for family and friends, I knew it was what I was meant to do. I finally feel like I have a career, a purpose.
Today is my husbands last day at his job. He quit his job after eight years to follow his own heart. I am more proud of him today than I have ever been. As I sit here alone in this house, it is occurring to me more and more that today is the last day of steady income. Today we get to follow dreams and be more alive than we have ever been. The only choice I have today is to think about the good, the grand outcome. If I worry about the grocery money, the loan payments, or the hydro bill, that will get me nowhere. I have to think about the amazing thing we are doing. Getting to spend more time together will outweigh all of that. Yes, I am scared....terrified. But I can't let that get me down. Today I will focus on what I love to do, and know that that is enough and the money will follow.
So tomorrow morning when we wake up and have breakfast as a family on a Wednesday for the first time ever, I will focus on one moment at a time. One cake at a time, I will make it. I believe that all you need to be successful, is you. I won't let fear ride shotgun today.
A few months ago I decided (another impulsive, rock me to my core in the middle of the night) that I was going to purge my crafting emporium and build a commercial kitchen and bake birthday/wedding cakes and cupcakes. I didn't think of how, the cost, the time, or anything. I just knew that I had to do it. When I had my launch on Sunday for family and friends, I knew it was what I was meant to do. I finally feel like I have a career, a purpose.
Today is my husbands last day at his job. He quit his job after eight years to follow his own heart. I am more proud of him today than I have ever been. As I sit here alone in this house, it is occurring to me more and more that today is the last day of steady income. Today we get to follow dreams and be more alive than we have ever been. The only choice I have today is to think about the good, the grand outcome. If I worry about the grocery money, the loan payments, or the hydro bill, that will get me nowhere. I have to think about the amazing thing we are doing. Getting to spend more time together will outweigh all of that. Yes, I am scared....terrified. But I can't let that get me down. Today I will focus on what I love to do, and know that that is enough and the money will follow.
So tomorrow morning when we wake up and have breakfast as a family on a Wednesday for the first time ever, I will focus on one moment at a time. One cake at a time, I will make it. I believe that all you need to be successful, is you. I won't let fear ride shotgun today.
Friday 30 August 2013
It has finally happened!
Holy Shit, it has finally happened!! This morning I stepped on the scale, much like every other morning for the past two weeks. This is NOT common practice at my house. I usually am leaning more towards the idea that scales are only meant for weighting babies and that all household scales in a house without babies should be set on fire, thrown out the window or both.
Let me give you some background information. In high school I was thin, and I didn't even have to work at it. It wasn't until just after high school, when I discovered the glory of a quick and easy fast food meal. By this time I was making my own money and could spend it on whatever I wanted....like CHEESEBURGERS!! I quickly went from 155lbs to 200lbs. My parents commented on my weight, but I was oblivious. I knew I was fitting into bigger clothes, but it wasn't until I was in a Walmart one summer that I noticed there was a problem. Someone asked my when I was "due" and it was at that moment I decided to change.
I worked my ass off and lost the weight, and kept it off....for a while. I am pretty sure you can chart my weight gain to the level of douche bag of the guy I was dating at the time. Again I ballooned to 200lbs. Truth be told, I stopped weighing myself at 200. I knew I was overweight, I knew I should do something about it, but I didn't really care at the time. I was spending my days working, then going to the pub for beer and chicken wings five nights a week. Why would anyone want to change that?!
Then something inside me "clicked" again. Something had to change. My relationship was going from bad to worse, and if I wanted any hope of ever dating again, I had to lose weight. So I signed up for a gym membership, personal trainer, personalized meal plan, the whole nine yards. It was during those six months that I really discovered what I was capable of. Me, little old me, was capable of lifting weights, becoming strong, and actually seeing muscle form somewhere in the layers of fat. I credit Charlene SanJenko and Ben Smith for finding something in me that I never knew I had. (http://www.ibuildstrongwomen.com) I lost all the weight and was down to 169lbs. And a lot of that was muscle! I kept the weight off for a long time too....
Fast forward to 2007. It was July and I was sitting in the bathroom at work, staring at the two pink lines. We had been trying, but it was still a shock. I, was pregnant. Now if any of you have been pregnant, you know. Something unearthly happens to your body. You get crazy cravings, you eat a lot of chocolate, and are about half as active as you once were. At least that was true for me. After I had my son in 2008, exercise was the last thing on my mind. I went back to work within 4 weeks, I had a business to run and a new born. The extent of my exercise was walking to and from my car. I didn't lose much of the baby weight, and in May of 2009, I found out I was pregnant again. After my second son was born, I found myself hanging out around the 200lbs mark.
In the spring of 2012, I began working out. My friend Michelle and I started working out together twice a week. We stuck to it, and are still doing it today! In the year that we were working out, lifting weights AND running, I lost a total of ZERO pounds. My shaped changed a lot and I was happy with the changes. I went from a size 16 to a size 10/12.
My goal was to get back down to pre-baby weight, 169lbs. And for the last two weeks, my scale has been taunting me! 173lbs, 172lbs, 171.5lbs, 170.7lbs......So this morning when I stepped on the scale, half expecting it to start laughing at me, it read 169.7lbs! I know that weight doesn't really matter, and I will be the first person to tell you that. But seeing that number, after all the blood, sweat and tears, seemed to make it all worth it. I reached my goal! Now I feel more motivated than ever. I need to find new goals, and that's exciting!! The possibilities are endless!!
Wednesday 24 July 2013
Bucket list writing 101
There are a few things to consider when writing a bucket list. First of all, for those of you who don't know, a bucket list is a list of all the amazing things you want to see and do before you die. (Or while you are alive!! As I like to think of it.)
Here are some basic rules when writing one:
1) Don't think of the "how" and "when"! Just write it. Don't ever not put something on your list because you think it's unattainable. I firmly believe that once you set out to do something, the stars somehow align and make it possible.
2) Add everything, even if it scares you. My sister once told me, "If it scares you, do it!" I have followed her advice ever since that day and my life has changed! The only way to grow is to break away from your comfort zone and challenge yourself.
3) Make it fun and crazy! Imagine what your life would be like at the end, if you crossed everything off your list.
4) DO NOT worry about what other people think of your list. You don't ever have to show anyone if you don't want to.
5) Don't finish it. You can always add to it.
So for fun, I thought I would share with you, my bucket list. Keep in mind, some of these have been crossed off already. ;)
Here are some basic rules when writing one:
1) Don't think of the "how" and "when"! Just write it. Don't ever not put something on your list because you think it's unattainable. I firmly believe that once you set out to do something, the stars somehow align and make it possible.
2) Add everything, even if it scares you. My sister once told me, "If it scares you, do it!" I have followed her advice ever since that day and my life has changed! The only way to grow is to break away from your comfort zone and challenge yourself.
3) Make it fun and crazy! Imagine what your life would be like at the end, if you crossed everything off your list.
4) DO NOT worry about what other people think of your list. You don't ever have to show anyone if you don't want to.
5) Don't finish it. You can always add to it.
So for fun, I thought I would share with you, my bucket list. Keep in mind, some of these have been crossed off already. ;)
- Go skinny dipping
- Run the April Fools Run
- Raise $100 000.00 for charity
- Go to Paris and kiss under the tower
- See New York at Christmas time
- Go zip lining
- Go Kayaking
- Take a Yoga class
- Become a successful, published author
- Go to Disneyland at Christmas
- Meet a celebrity
- Be on TV. A real show, not the news
- See a real fashion show
- Watch the Northern lights with my family
- Have lunch with Bryan Adams
- Be on the cover of a magazine
- Go to Nashville and wear cowboy boots
- Eat lobster on the East Coast
- Landscape my yard
- Become a millionaire
- Do the West Coast Trail
- Have a girls only camping weekend
- Judge a food contest
- Win a huge jackpot at a casino
- Take my family on the East Coast cruise
- Hold hands with my husband on our 50th wedding anniversary
- Go indoor rock climbing
- Run a successful business
- Start a charity
- Swim in an infinity pool
- swim with dolphins
- Own a new, white Mustang with pink metal flake racing stripes
- Finish my degree
- Compete in a fitness competition
- Renew my wedding vow in a cheese Vegas chapel
- Dance in a burlesque show
- Camp on the beaches of the Oregon coast
- Kiss under a waterfall
- Go river rafting
- Have a pen pal
- Ride on a steam train
- See the Klamath basin
- Experience the Calgary Stampede
- Participate in a bike race
- Organize a charity run
- See my boys be successful
- Walk through a foreign village in the middle of winter, see the street lights glow through the snow
- Hold my grandchildren
- Change someones life
- Eat Kobe beef
That is all....for now anyway. Have fun writing!!
Monday 22 July 2013
To the past and to the future.
After I tucked my kids into bed, I was thinking about how the day had gone. My parents are quick to tell me (especially today) where I am going wrong in raising my kids. I am sure I am not alone in this. It made me think of how I might act in their situation, and I thought it would be a good idea to make little reminders of what not to do as I get older. It also got me thinking of the past, where I came from and how I got to be the person I am today. So for fun, here are top 5 things I would tell myself at 18, and the top five things to tell my future self.
To my 18 year old self:
* Getting hit with an orange going 75miles/hour in the hallway at school is not the worst thing that will ever happen to you. So let it slide.
* There are better days to come!! You will have a full life that you never dreamed possible! Wishes will come true, you will one day be in control of your life, and the people in your life will really matter.
* You will discover the meaning of true friendship. It may take a while, and you will find it in places you never expected, but you will find it.
* Love is not at all what you think it is, and there is no need to rush. You will find true love one day and you will KNOW it. You will feel it in your bones and no one else in the world matters.
* You will one day be strong. So strong, you will be capable of anything. You will set goals and achieve them, you will set standards and rise above them, you will do anything you dream of doing, because you can.
To my future self:
* Your kids are going to make mistakes. It is your job to support them. Even if you think they are wrong, they need to make mistakes.
* When your kids are doing something they are excited about, get excited with them!
* Never forget that time spent together is worth more than diamonds or all the wealth in the world. Silly times together is what you remember in the end.
* Try to remember that raising kids is a one time gig. Your job after that is to be the best grandparents you can be. You don't get to do it twice.
* Remember that true family are the people in your life who support you, stick beside you thick and thin, dry your tears and celebrate your triumphs.
Wednesday 3 July 2013
Changing tides.
With the changing tides, come new days, fresh sand, and little treasures. But overall, things remain the same. It's only after years that the rocks and surrounding beaches show any differences. I feel like the way I live my life is the same. I am always in a crazy circle, fighting with my inner self. Trying to be more creative, trying to be more organized, always trying to do more for everyone. Somehow that is changing, and I think I like it!
This change has been knocking at the backdoor of my brain for months now but I have been ignoring it. It's like there is a little voice in my head saying "You don't need do that, you don't have to be that way." I keep thinking it's just a phase, or I am overworked or tired....But the more I step back, the more I simplify, the more I LIKE IT!
I decided last week that I was going to make some huge changes in my life. It meant cleaning out 15years of love and creativity and starting fresh. I have made space for a tiny part of my former life to remain, and the rest will all be cleaned out, painted over and started over. I will no longer be the person who has every little piece of fabric you could need, I will no longer have 19 colors of glitter (that part makes me a little sad) and I will no longer have 500 buttons. As a sat in my craft room tonight, I wondered if I this was another phase I was going though, hormones, or maybe even a mid-life crisis....I still wonder if I am making the right decision. I will be taking the leap of faith, and turning my craft room into a commercial kitchen. I will be able to make my cool cakes for stores and restaurants, cover more events, get into weddings, and try to make a little something out of my crafty ways to support our little family. It's a big step, and once I commit there is no turning back. I like to think I am ready. I will no longer be pushing and pulling myself in a million different directions. I will have one clear path, a real career.
I know it looks like I am taking on another project, and I am. But at the same time, trimming everything else. I will have more time with my kids, more focus with my booty camp girls (who I love and would never trade in, not for all the diamonds in the world!), and less STUFF!!
I am scared and unsure of what this will bring, but my mom always taught me that if you believe in yourself, you can achieve anything. And I believe that's true.
Always remember where you came from, never look back, and keep your eyes on the road ahead.
Thank you for your support. Much love. <3
This change has been knocking at the backdoor of my brain for months now but I have been ignoring it. It's like there is a little voice in my head saying "You don't need do that, you don't have to be that way." I keep thinking it's just a phase, or I am overworked or tired....But the more I step back, the more I simplify, the more I LIKE IT!
I decided last week that I was going to make some huge changes in my life. It meant cleaning out 15years of love and creativity and starting fresh. I have made space for a tiny part of my former life to remain, and the rest will all be cleaned out, painted over and started over. I will no longer be the person who has every little piece of fabric you could need, I will no longer have 19 colors of glitter (that part makes me a little sad) and I will no longer have 500 buttons. As a sat in my craft room tonight, I wondered if I this was another phase I was going though, hormones, or maybe even a mid-life crisis....I still wonder if I am making the right decision. I will be taking the leap of faith, and turning my craft room into a commercial kitchen. I will be able to make my cool cakes for stores and restaurants, cover more events, get into weddings, and try to make a little something out of my crafty ways to support our little family. It's a big step, and once I commit there is no turning back. I like to think I am ready. I will no longer be pushing and pulling myself in a million different directions. I will have one clear path, a real career.
I know it looks like I am taking on another project, and I am. But at the same time, trimming everything else. I will have more time with my kids, more focus with my booty camp girls (who I love and would never trade in, not for all the diamonds in the world!), and less STUFF!!
I am scared and unsure of what this will bring, but my mom always taught me that if you believe in yourself, you can achieve anything. And I believe that's true.
Always remember where you came from, never look back, and keep your eyes on the road ahead.
Thank you for your support. Much love. <3
Tuesday 25 June 2013
Confessions of a do it all junkie
Yes, I am one of those. I do it all. I bake, I'm crafty, I can sew, I make all my Christmas gifts and Halloween costumes, I will stack firewood and I am a rock star in the sack. But there are a lot of things I don't or can't do. And in a lot of ways, my life the most disorganized chaos I have ever seen.
For example, let me be the first to tell you, I don't clean my house. I have been living here for three years and I have only cleaned the windows once. I clean my kitchen (out of necessity) but things like dusting and washing walls will never get done. Laundry doesn't get put away either. It constantly sits in limbo between clean and dirty, hanging out in the laundry baskets. I often have to do the smell test before I wear something...is this the clean basket or dirty one...??? When people come over, they are picking food off my kitchen table because I didn't clean it from the night before... or the night before that.
As far as my sewing skills, my mom taught me to sew before anything else. I was sewing my own Barbie clothes because we couldn't afford to buy them. As I got older I sewed my own clothes or got thrift store treasures and HAD to make them cool. I have been sewing for 25 years and have gotten really fast at it over the years.
I once stayed up until midnight working on a Halloween costume the night before.
My first ten (at least) cakes were a complete disaster! I made one that actually fell over in the fridge before I got to deliver it. Thank god it was for a friend, and I had time to buy one before the party. I even made one that sunk into itself. The top tier literally fell into the bottom one. I practiced my cake decorating skills on my family first. They have suffered through a number of disaster cakes! I even forgot to put sugar in one. oops.
I cannot turn off my brain! I am constantly thinking about everything. It's a curse!!
I bribe my kids with tv and marshmallows so I can get stuff done.
I start my Christmas gift making in June! It takes me that long.
I once stayed up until 2am decorating a cake. By the time I was done, I was so wired that I couldn't sleep. The next day was a loonnnggg day.
I am terrified of public speaking, being in large groups, and talking to people I don't know. I literally sweat my body weight, and am near vomiting the entire time I am in any of these situations.
I have no self control! I once ate an entire advent calendar after bringing it home. It was a kinder surprise one too... lots of chocolate. And it wasn't even mine!
I tend to be bossy and take over certain situations. (If you ask any of my close friends, this is a ridiculous understatement) I have slight control issues.
All in all, I have to take the good with the bad. I love my crazy life but sometimes I wish I could just sit and enjoy it without thinking of a million things or making a million plans. There is a balance.....I think. I will find it one day.
For example, let me be the first to tell you, I don't clean my house. I have been living here for three years and I have only cleaned the windows once. I clean my kitchen (out of necessity) but things like dusting and washing walls will never get done. Laundry doesn't get put away either. It constantly sits in limbo between clean and dirty, hanging out in the laundry baskets. I often have to do the smell test before I wear something...is this the clean basket or dirty one...??? When people come over, they are picking food off my kitchen table because I didn't clean it from the night before... or the night before that.
As far as my sewing skills, my mom taught me to sew before anything else. I was sewing my own Barbie clothes because we couldn't afford to buy them. As I got older I sewed my own clothes or got thrift store treasures and HAD to make them cool. I have been sewing for 25 years and have gotten really fast at it over the years.
I once stayed up until midnight working on a Halloween costume the night before.
My first ten (at least) cakes were a complete disaster! I made one that actually fell over in the fridge before I got to deliver it. Thank god it was for a friend, and I had time to buy one before the party. I even made one that sunk into itself. The top tier literally fell into the bottom one. I practiced my cake decorating skills on my family first. They have suffered through a number of disaster cakes! I even forgot to put sugar in one. oops.
I cannot turn off my brain! I am constantly thinking about everything. It's a curse!!
I bribe my kids with tv and marshmallows so I can get stuff done.
I start my Christmas gift making in June! It takes me that long.
I once stayed up until 2am decorating a cake. By the time I was done, I was so wired that I couldn't sleep. The next day was a loonnnggg day.
I am terrified of public speaking, being in large groups, and talking to people I don't know. I literally sweat my body weight, and am near vomiting the entire time I am in any of these situations.
I have no self control! I once ate an entire advent calendar after bringing it home. It was a kinder surprise one too... lots of chocolate. And it wasn't even mine!
I tend to be bossy and take over certain situations. (If you ask any of my close friends, this is a ridiculous understatement) I have slight control issues.
All in all, I have to take the good with the bad. I love my crazy life but sometimes I wish I could just sit and enjoy it without thinking of a million things or making a million plans. There is a balance.....I think. I will find it one day.
Sunday 23 June 2013
My dad once told me to write what I know. I know romance. I also know what is not romance. I would like to share with you, some not so romantic gestures. This blog is specifically for men, to teach them what not to do. Rules of romance if you will.
#1) Do not buy any of the following for her birthday or anniversary: power tools, kitchen appliances, weed eaters, chainsaws, car parts, boat motors and/or accessories, or BBQ's. Even if she wants one and you do buy one of these items, it's a good idea to buy something else to go with it, like chocolate or jewelry.
#2) Watching porn is not foreplay. Neither is "Hey, you wanna do it?" Let me put this into terms you can understand. Women are like a diesel engine, you need to warm her up and get her going before you even think about taking her for a spin. But once you do that, she will perform like no other.
#3) Buying flowers are best when they are unexpected. You want more points, bring home a chocolate bar too. And not just a regular one, bring home the fancy stuff.
#4) Opening her car door IS romantic, especially if you have been married for more than six months.
#5) If a woman plans a date night, go with it! Do not complain about ANYTHING.
#6) Saying a woman looks great in her new dress, without her having to ask, will get you lucky.
#7) When a woman is standing in front of you in her underwear, looking right at you, there is a 98% chance that she wants to get lucky. DO tell her she looks beautiful. DO NOT continue reading your book/checking your e-mail, or say you are too tired.
#8) When a woman says she is too tired too cook dinner, either help her cook something or take her out! There is a reason she is telling you that she is too tired.
#9) If you are arguing about something, the best thing to do is stop, realize you won't win, and apologize. If she is still mad the next day, bring her some chocolate.
#10) Doing the dishes, folding laundry, cooking, vacuuming, making the bed, and cleaning the bathroom are all things that you can do to better your chances of getting laid!
I hope this was helpful. :)
#1) Do not buy any of the following for her birthday or anniversary: power tools, kitchen appliances, weed eaters, chainsaws, car parts, boat motors and/or accessories, or BBQ's. Even if she wants one and you do buy one of these items, it's a good idea to buy something else to go with it, like chocolate or jewelry.
#2) Watching porn is not foreplay. Neither is "Hey, you wanna do it?" Let me put this into terms you can understand. Women are like a diesel engine, you need to warm her up and get her going before you even think about taking her for a spin. But once you do that, she will perform like no other.
#3) Buying flowers are best when they are unexpected. You want more points, bring home a chocolate bar too. And not just a regular one, bring home the fancy stuff.
#4) Opening her car door IS romantic, especially if you have been married for more than six months.
#5) If a woman plans a date night, go with it! Do not complain about ANYTHING.
#6) Saying a woman looks great in her new dress, without her having to ask, will get you lucky.
#7) When a woman is standing in front of you in her underwear, looking right at you, there is a 98% chance that she wants to get lucky. DO tell her she looks beautiful. DO NOT continue reading your book/checking your e-mail, or say you are too tired.
#8) When a woman says she is too tired too cook dinner, either help her cook something or take her out! There is a reason she is telling you that she is too tired.
#9) If you are arguing about something, the best thing to do is stop, realize you won't win, and apologize. If she is still mad the next day, bring her some chocolate.
#10) Doing the dishes, folding laundry, cooking, vacuuming, making the bed, and cleaning the bathroom are all things that you can do to better your chances of getting laid!
I hope this was helpful. :)
Wednesday 12 June 2013
Time
This past week I spent some time with my boys at their Aunt and Uncle's house in Edmonton. It was, as usual, a great trip. But there was something about this trip in particular, that made it extra difficult to leave.
My sister is my best friend, my inspiration, she keeps me in check, motivates me and is by far person I laugh with the most. Her and her husband are my true family, and my kids absolutely adore them. I try to spend one week each year there and every trip seems to be the same. We go shopping at the big mall, take the kids to a movie or the science center, play cards, build a fort, do crafts, hang out in the hot tub, and eat! It's nothing overly exciting, it's not fancy, but it is what I look forward to the most every year. I have the most laughs, the most food coma's, and make the most memories.
Every time I go there, I seem to leave with a little piece of knowledge. This time was no different. My sister said to me, "the most important thing, what we are meant to give each other, is time." That word, "time" resonated in my mind. We are realizing more and more that life is not about how much money you make, what toys you have, your "success", or fame. It's what you do with your time that matters. You can never have enough money and you will always want more. We all seem to be living the same life, with more and more things, and less and less time.
Another reason this trip was so great, was because I got to spend some time with my Aunt and cousins. My Aunt Judy made a huge spread for dinner (more food coma!!) and we got to spend time with my cousin, his wife, and their daughter. It was an amazing moment for me, to watch our kids play together. I am grateful to my Aunt for making this happen. And all the money in the world could not have bought that.
I know that when I look back on this life of mine, ten or twenty years from now, the moments that stick out in my mind will be the ones I shared with the people I love. That is why it was so hard to leave. I wish I could have these moments with them every day. Jenny and Francis are my two of my favorite people in the whole world and I didn't want the trip to end. And now that I sit here in my house, home at last, I vow to create more moments and more time with my family. Make every day a holiday and count down the days I get to see them again. Thank you for teaching me the most important things in life.
PS: thank you to Courtney Munson for taking these awesome photos!!
http://cocosphotography.ca/
My sister is my best friend, my inspiration, she keeps me in check, motivates me and is by far person I laugh with the most. Her and her husband are my true family, and my kids absolutely adore them. I try to spend one week each year there and every trip seems to be the same. We go shopping at the big mall, take the kids to a movie or the science center, play cards, build a fort, do crafts, hang out in the hot tub, and eat! It's nothing overly exciting, it's not fancy, but it is what I look forward to the most every year. I have the most laughs, the most food coma's, and make the most memories.
Every time I go there, I seem to leave with a little piece of knowledge. This time was no different. My sister said to me, "the most important thing, what we are meant to give each other, is time." That word, "time" resonated in my mind. We are realizing more and more that life is not about how much money you make, what toys you have, your "success", or fame. It's what you do with your time that matters. You can never have enough money and you will always want more. We all seem to be living the same life, with more and more things, and less and less time.
Another reason this trip was so great, was because I got to spend some time with my Aunt and cousins. My Aunt Judy made a huge spread for dinner (more food coma!!) and we got to spend time with my cousin, his wife, and their daughter. It was an amazing moment for me, to watch our kids play together. I am grateful to my Aunt for making this happen. And all the money in the world could not have bought that.
I know that when I look back on this life of mine, ten or twenty years from now, the moments that stick out in my mind will be the ones I shared with the people I love. That is why it was so hard to leave. I wish I could have these moments with them every day. Jenny and Francis are my two of my favorite people in the whole world and I didn't want the trip to end. And now that I sit here in my house, home at last, I vow to create more moments and more time with my family. Make every day a holiday and count down the days I get to see them again. Thank you for teaching me the most important things in life.
PS: thank you to Courtney Munson for taking these awesome photos!!
http://cocosphotography.ca/
Sunday 2 June 2013
Happy Anniversary
Today is mine and my husbands six year wedding anniversary. Just for fun, I thought I would tell you the story of how my crazy life became so beautiful.
I remember it like it was yesterday. My cell phone rang at 5am. I had been half awake since the pager had gone off in the middle of the night. My boyfriend at the time was a member of the Roberts Creek Fire Department.
"You need to get up, go to the store and bring sandwiches and coffee to the Pen Hotel." So I grabbed a hoodie, still in my flannel jammies and hair unbrushed, I made my way to Subway. (which I owned at the time.) As quick as I could I made enough sandwiches for 30 people, grabbed juices and cookies and hit up the Starbucks for a huge container of coffee. Once I arrived I opened the back of my car and set up a make-shift food station for guys to come and grab something. There where a few guys on the other side of the scene so I grabbed a try of sandwiches and delivered it to them. And standing there across the lot, through the maze of fire-hose and trucks, was Arthur. I offered him a sandwich and he politely grabbed one. The very first words he ever said to me were:
"Are you married?" I just laughed and said no. "You wanna be?" he asked. "Who wouldn't want to marry a blond who brings me sandwiches." I just laughed at his weird comment and walked away. Later I thought to myself, that guy was totally weird, who says that??
Two years later we met again at a fire-hall function, both of us single at the time. He thought it would be funny to enter his number in my cell phone, and began texting me random comments the days following. I liked the attention, but to be honest, I though he was strange and way to old for me.
Somewhere in the month that followed, he suggested we go out for dinner. I objected at first, and when I finally changed my mind, I became the one chasing him. There were so many odds against us; our ex's, age, our busy jobs....but when we had our first unofficial date (coffee at Starbucks) we realized that there was something between us. We didn't know what it was or how it made sense, but we both agreed that a second unofficial date would be a good idea. I don't even know what it was about him that drew me to him. Maybe it was the way I felt protected with him, or the fact that he was so nervous when we were together, I know for sure it wasn't his big truck. Which is what he thought for sure would win me over. I started smiling over the thought of him, and whenever he walked through the door at the restaurant I got butterflies in my tummy.
When our first "official" date finally did come, it was dinner at the Waterfront. We couldn't keep from holding hands across the table, and he couldn't stop talking about marriage and that we will have "2.5 kids. Two kids and a dog." He kept saying that there was no reason for us not to get married and that it "seems like a really good idea." You would think I would have done running for the hills, but I somehow felt comfortable in the thought that I had maybe found that man that will be with me, work with me, protect me, love me for the rest of my life. Everything about our date was comfortable, natural, and a little magical. Eight weeks later we were engaged, and I not once had a second thought about it. Six years later I am happier than I have ever been. We have built a beautiful (although somewhat strange) home together, are raising two beautiful boys, and are together realizing that working and money aren't everything. Taking time to relax and laugh with the people you love is what life is all about. I can't imagine life without him. <3
I remember it like it was yesterday. My cell phone rang at 5am. I had been half awake since the pager had gone off in the middle of the night. My boyfriend at the time was a member of the Roberts Creek Fire Department.
"You need to get up, go to the store and bring sandwiches and coffee to the Pen Hotel." So I grabbed a hoodie, still in my flannel jammies and hair unbrushed, I made my way to Subway. (which I owned at the time.) As quick as I could I made enough sandwiches for 30 people, grabbed juices and cookies and hit up the Starbucks for a huge container of coffee. Once I arrived I opened the back of my car and set up a make-shift food station for guys to come and grab something. There where a few guys on the other side of the scene so I grabbed a try of sandwiches and delivered it to them. And standing there across the lot, through the maze of fire-hose and trucks, was Arthur. I offered him a sandwich and he politely grabbed one. The very first words he ever said to me were:
"Are you married?" I just laughed and said no. "You wanna be?" he asked. "Who wouldn't want to marry a blond who brings me sandwiches." I just laughed at his weird comment and walked away. Later I thought to myself, that guy was totally weird, who says that??
Two years later we met again at a fire-hall function, both of us single at the time. He thought it would be funny to enter his number in my cell phone, and began texting me random comments the days following. I liked the attention, but to be honest, I though he was strange and way to old for me.
Somewhere in the month that followed, he suggested we go out for dinner. I objected at first, and when I finally changed my mind, I became the one chasing him. There were so many odds against us; our ex's, age, our busy jobs....but when we had our first unofficial date (coffee at Starbucks) we realized that there was something between us. We didn't know what it was or how it made sense, but we both agreed that a second unofficial date would be a good idea. I don't even know what it was about him that drew me to him. Maybe it was the way I felt protected with him, or the fact that he was so nervous when we were together, I know for sure it wasn't his big truck. Which is what he thought for sure would win me over. I started smiling over the thought of him, and whenever he walked through the door at the restaurant I got butterflies in my tummy.
When our first "official" date finally did come, it was dinner at the Waterfront. We couldn't keep from holding hands across the table, and he couldn't stop talking about marriage and that we will have "2.5 kids. Two kids and a dog." He kept saying that there was no reason for us not to get married and that it "seems like a really good idea." You would think I would have done running for the hills, but I somehow felt comfortable in the thought that I had maybe found that man that will be with me, work with me, protect me, love me for the rest of my life. Everything about our date was comfortable, natural, and a little magical. Eight weeks later we were engaged, and I not once had a second thought about it. Six years later I am happier than I have ever been. We have built a beautiful (although somewhat strange) home together, are raising two beautiful boys, and are together realizing that working and money aren't everything. Taking time to relax and laugh with the people you love is what life is all about. I can't imagine life without him. <3
Wednesday 29 May 2013
Seeing clearly.
6 years ago I was a busy business owner, kid-less, and three days away from marrying the man of my dreams. My life was manageable, successful, and clear. My hard work was payed off with a bigger paycheck and I thought I had things figured out.
Fast forward to today, no longer a business owner, still married, and now with two boys, ages 3 and 5. For the past few years I have been struggling to adjust to my role as a "mom". I mean, lets face it. Who wants to work at a job where there is not real pay, the boss is noisy and whines all the time, throws tantrums at any given moment and pees in your bed?? It was very hard for me to go from business woman who was known in the community, to mommy. And every since my first born was old enough to crawl, I have been grasping at straws to get back to that. I needed to find success again. I worked for countless hours on plans do it. I would try something, and when that didn't work, I would try something else. I was too busy to realize that what I was doing, being a mom, is pretty amazing in itself. Again I was too focused on the goal to appreciate the journey. But today I have realized something and have changed the definition of success. Although choosing to raise a family is not everyone's choice, it was my choice. For now anyway, I am not that woman who wears heels to work, or drives a nice car, (or even a clean car for that matter) I don't own flashy things, I don't get sales awards, and I don't get to live a carefree lifestyle. But as my kids get older, they teach me more about life, and that is something that is hard to learn from just any job. They are teaching me to be patient, content, and I am learning the real value of life. The value of a warm bed and cute little voices in the morning, the value of the love I feel at the end of a hard day, stepping on a LEGO is ok because it means my kids are playing, and knowing that no matter what, this little family loves me. I am so grateful to have them in my life, today more than ever. There is no other person in the world who knows me like my husband does and I think that's pretty cool. We have made a home for ourselves and I somehow failed to recognize that as a job well done. Together we have made so many decisions about the kids and life in general, and have not once come close to killing each other. And even though there are no awards for that (sometimes there should be) I can appreciate the accomplishment.
So for now, I may be giving up dreams or just putting them on hold, only to realize new ones.
Fast forward to today, no longer a business owner, still married, and now with two boys, ages 3 and 5. For the past few years I have been struggling to adjust to my role as a "mom". I mean, lets face it. Who wants to work at a job where there is not real pay, the boss is noisy and whines all the time, throws tantrums at any given moment and pees in your bed?? It was very hard for me to go from business woman who was known in the community, to mommy. And every since my first born was old enough to crawl, I have been grasping at straws to get back to that. I needed to find success again. I worked for countless hours on plans do it. I would try something, and when that didn't work, I would try something else. I was too busy to realize that what I was doing, being a mom, is pretty amazing in itself. Again I was too focused on the goal to appreciate the journey. But today I have realized something and have changed the definition of success. Although choosing to raise a family is not everyone's choice, it was my choice. For now anyway, I am not that woman who wears heels to work, or drives a nice car, (or even a clean car for that matter) I don't own flashy things, I don't get sales awards, and I don't get to live a carefree lifestyle. But as my kids get older, they teach me more about life, and that is something that is hard to learn from just any job. They are teaching me to be patient, content, and I am learning the real value of life. The value of a warm bed and cute little voices in the morning, the value of the love I feel at the end of a hard day, stepping on a LEGO is ok because it means my kids are playing, and knowing that no matter what, this little family loves me. I am so grateful to have them in my life, today more than ever. There is no other person in the world who knows me like my husband does and I think that's pretty cool. We have made a home for ourselves and I somehow failed to recognize that as a job well done. Together we have made so many decisions about the kids and life in general, and have not once come close to killing each other. And even though there are no awards for that (sometimes there should be) I can appreciate the accomplishment.
So for now, I may be giving up dreams or just putting them on hold, only to realize new ones.
Wednesday 8 May 2013
Re-wired
I fully believe that becoming a mother somehow changed the wiring in my brain forever. When my first screaming bundle of joy came shooting out of my not so privates, he somehow took parts of my brain with him. The very minute you become a mother, your life changes forever. For me that moment was when I held my son in my arms. (Even typing this, five years later, it still sounds weird....my son...) You are now responsible for a human being...in every way. You start to look at things differently, you act differently, you even talk differently. Here are some of the main examples of how life as I knew it was different.
1) Everything was dangerous. Is that bottle too hot? Your hands have germs, bleach them. The sun is out, I need SPF 50, a hat, sunglasses, and umbrella, and a sun suit. You buckle them in, check it twice, and everyone is driving too fast. You will stop at every corner to make sure they haven't choked, check on them in the night to make sure they are still breathing, even wake them up to make sure they are still alive. The world becomes a wild jungle of death!
2) Sleep becomes the holy grail. I sometimes find myself wishing it was Saturday...on a Monday, just because I know there is a slight chance that I will get to sleep in. I often wake up in the morning and can't wait for bedtime, just so I can go back to bed. And don't even think about catching a little cat nap while your kids are quietly watching a movie. They have some kind of radar that lets them know the exact moment you are asleep so they can raid the pantry and pour a box of baking soda on your living room floor. Full night sleeps don't exist....ever.
3) Simple tasks become increasingly difficult. Like math, or any logic, really. I don't even bother to do the banking anymore. "Just add GST to the price." They say, like it's no big deal. Or "Whats 12 times 3?" QUIT HARASSING ME!
4) Grocery shopping becomes more fun, because I get to plan the meals. Extra grocery money for the week is even more exciting and grocery shopping on my own....there are no words that can explain the thrill of grocery shopping without a screaming child, strange looks from passerby's, or someone pulling everything and anything into the cart.
5) Things that never mattered before get you over the moon with delight now. Like a hot shower, or a hot meal. New socks and underwear, two hours of sleep without someone crying, coffee, a clean load of laundry, or even a new scent of dish soap. A cupcake and a cup of coffee in a quiet house at 7am is like winning the lottery.
6) You care less and less about personal hygiene. There are so many times I have left the house thinking, I really should wash my hair.... Or those times when you catch a glimpse of yourself in a reflection and think, did I really leave the house like that?! I started growing my hair long just so I don't have to go get it cut all the time, and it's much easier to throw in a ponytail for those mornings when I don't have time to brush it. Which, lets face it, is every morning.
I am sure there are more examples, but my now tiny brain can't remember them. Even though my life may seem like a total train wreck, I love my boys and my little family with all my heart. The little "I love you" in their tiny voices seem to make up for all the craziness, poop, and sleepless nights.
Wednesday 1 May 2013
It's all about the journey
One year ago, I set out to lose 30lbs. That was my goal, and I was determined to accomplish it. I grabbed a friend of mine and we began working out. It started by us going to the gym together a couple days a week, then gradually increased. We decided that if we wanted drastic results, we needed to do drastic things. One day I planned a mini boot camp for us to do. She cursed me the entire time and we hardly made it through the workout. That was the beginning of one of the most amazing things that have every happened in my life.
Although I am not even close to my goal, I am realizing more and more that it's not reaching the goal that matters, it's the journey. From that one boot camp, we decided to do it twice a week. Tuesday and Thursday was our night to shine. It didn't take long for friends to notice that we were losing weight and wondered what it was we were up to. Before long, our group of two turned into a group of fifteen. These amazing women have given me more than they will ever know. I feel like we have a connection that no one can break. Each of them will hold a special place in my heart. We were almost are in the same boat, struggling to fit in to our jeans, unhappy with our self image, shy, and unhealthy. Over the past year we have been able to give each other confidence, support and love, not to mention, we ARE BRINGING SEXY BACK, BITCHES! These women have given me confidence that is unmeasurable. They made it possible for me to live out my bucket list fantasy and dance in a burlesque show, they made it possible for me to buy a small sized dress...and wear it! I have made new friends, life long friends, and we continue to create bonds together. I went from having a few close friends, to a team of women who have got my back! We are a force to be reckoned with!
Yes, goals are important. For me, a life without goals doesn't even make sense. But the journey you take to reach your goals is far more important. So instead of getting caught up in "getting to the finish line", take a minute and realize the amazing things you are doing right now, celebrate the small victories and thank the people along the way who help you get there.
Endless thank yous go out to my Booty Camp Girls. Can't imagine life without you.
Wednesday 24 April 2013
College for me was a great time in my life. I discovered and experienced so many things. Not just on the academic level, but personally as well. I discovered about love and heartbreak, budgeting, how to add flair to rice and beans, how to kiss a girl, and most importantly, how to deal with drunk college kids. They are your friends, your classmates, you love and hate them at the same time.
Lets fast forward now. I have two boys, ages 5 and 3. They are the loves of my life, but they are in many ways, a lot like drunk college kids. Here are my top 5 reasons why toddlers and drunk college kids are one in the same:
1: When toddlers get tired, then need to sleep....right now! There is no going home and getting into bed. They will drop to the floor of the grocery store and demand to sleep there. Or just drop their head on their happy meal and catch a few zzzzzzz's. When I was in college I had a friend, we'll call her Janice. (you know who you are :)) She would get so drunk that she would just find a chair at the bar and pass out. We once got thrown out, and while we were waiting for our ride, she fell asleep on the curb.
2: They never let you get anything done! They are constantly asking what you are doing, when will the fun stuff start, and how come you are so boring? They always need to be doing something to keep them busy, and you have to be the one to find that something.
3:As soon as you get on the phone, they want to know who you are talking to, what you are talking about and they don't let you get a second of peace. The second that my kids hear me talking on the phone, they come in to bug me. And nine times out of ten, they beg to talk to whoever it is on the other end.
4: They will eat anything, doesn't matter how late it is. This may not be true for all toddlers, but it is true for my boys. It can be 3 in the afternoon or 8 at night, they request the weirdest food.
5: Puke. They will puke in your car, you laundry, you bed, your shoes, your tub, your couch, you name it. And somehow I am always left cleaning it up.
Lets fast forward now. I have two boys, ages 5 and 3. They are the loves of my life, but they are in many ways, a lot like drunk college kids. Here are my top 5 reasons why toddlers and drunk college kids are one in the same:
1: When toddlers get tired, then need to sleep....right now! There is no going home and getting into bed. They will drop to the floor of the grocery store and demand to sleep there. Or just drop their head on their happy meal and catch a few zzzzzzz's. When I was in college I had a friend, we'll call her Janice. (you know who you are :)) She would get so drunk that she would just find a chair at the bar and pass out. We once got thrown out, and while we were waiting for our ride, she fell asleep on the curb.
2: They never let you get anything done! They are constantly asking what you are doing, when will the fun stuff start, and how come you are so boring? They always need to be doing something to keep them busy, and you have to be the one to find that something.
3:As soon as you get on the phone, they want to know who you are talking to, what you are talking about and they don't let you get a second of peace. The second that my kids hear me talking on the phone, they come in to bug me. And nine times out of ten, they beg to talk to whoever it is on the other end.
4: They will eat anything, doesn't matter how late it is. This may not be true for all toddlers, but it is true for my boys. It can be 3 in the afternoon or 8 at night, they request the weirdest food.
5: Puke. They will puke in your car, you laundry, you bed, your shoes, your tub, your couch, you name it. And somehow I am always left cleaning it up.
Saturday 20 April 2013
Apology
Apology: a written or spoken expression of one's regret, remorse, or sorrow for having insulted, failed, injured, or wronged another.
Here are some of mine, in no particular order:
- I would like a apologize to my uterus. I would imagine that it is so angry because it was forced housed not one, but two kicking and feeding parasites within three years. Since then, things between us have never been the same.
- I would like to apologize to my husband for blaming him for the missing M&M's my son got for his birthday. I had inhaled them the night before and when he stood in front of me, wide-eyed, looking for answers, "Daddy did it." just came blurting out.
- I would like to apologize to my former "thin" self, for ever thinking I was fat. This is fat...and that's not even saying much, since I have slimmed down a lot.
- I would like to apologize to all my friends in high school for always being the nerdy/cautious/paranoid one.
- I would like to apologize to my boobs. I did not appreciate them when I had them, and now someone has taken them and replaced them with something that sort of looks like boobs, but are really pancakes.
- I would like to apologize to my sister for always bribing her to do things, with no intention of fulfilling my obligation.
- I would like to apologize to my first born for never letting him do anything fun as an infant for fear that he might die.
- I would like to apologize to anyone who has witnessed my hormones on overdrive. This covers a lot of people, especially since I was pregnant... twice.
- I would like to apologize to my parents for having to move back in with them when I was 24.
- I would like to apologize in advance to my kids, for yelling at them, grounding them, stalking them, reading text messages from girls, and all around harassment and/or embarrassment.
Thursday 18 April 2013
I need answers!
In an effort to get a jump start on my Super Awesome Summer to do list, I decided to clean out my kitchen cupboards. Not the most exciting thing on the list, but I figured I should get the boring crap out of the way.
Can someone please explain to me why one might own 3 different types of measuring cups, or 11 large to medium mixing bowls?! I also cleared out a number of extra serving dishes, baking pans, cookbooks, several random utensils, place mats, 4 popcorn bowls and a blender. (apparently I had two) It really got me thinking....why do we have so much stuff?? Where does this need come from? It seems I'm not the only one either. Most of us have an abundance of "stuff". And it doesn't stop in my kitchen! You should see my closet, the kids rooms, the bathroom. Don't even get me started on the craft room! Sometimes I feel like getting rid of everything and living a totally minimalist lifestyle, but my husband would never go for it! If you have ever seen an episode of "Hoarders", you would understand. Him and his mom both, are a few egg cartons away from being on the show. And does anyone else have that special little corner filled the things that were given as a gift, but you either have no use for it or just don't like it? I have this weird guilt about getting rid of things that were gifts. Like as if one day the gift givers are going to come over and say, "Hey, remember that sweater I gave you two years ago, do you still have it? I would love to see it on you."
And while we are on the subject of unanswered questions, can someone please explain to my why it takes a 4 year old girl one hour to eat a rice cracker?! I have had the pleasure of babysitting my friends 4 year old daughter while she took off to Vegas with her hubby. I have two little boys, and let me tell you, they are NOT the same! Yes, my boys are crazy. And yes, they will jump off the top of the slide at the pool. But never in a million years would they sit in front of me for a half hour asking a hundred questions about what I am doing, why I am doing it, or "where do cows come from?" Don't get me wrong, I am enjoying doing her hair, and playing dress up, but it made me really appreciate my little men, and all the craziness they bring to my life.
Can someone please explain to me why one might own 3 different types of measuring cups, or 11 large to medium mixing bowls?! I also cleared out a number of extra serving dishes, baking pans, cookbooks, several random utensils, place mats, 4 popcorn bowls and a blender. (apparently I had two) It really got me thinking....why do we have so much stuff?? Where does this need come from? It seems I'm not the only one either. Most of us have an abundance of "stuff". And it doesn't stop in my kitchen! You should see my closet, the kids rooms, the bathroom. Don't even get me started on the craft room! Sometimes I feel like getting rid of everything and living a totally minimalist lifestyle, but my husband would never go for it! If you have ever seen an episode of "Hoarders", you would understand. Him and his mom both, are a few egg cartons away from being on the show. And does anyone else have that special little corner filled the things that were given as a gift, but you either have no use for it or just don't like it? I have this weird guilt about getting rid of things that were gifts. Like as if one day the gift givers are going to come over and say, "Hey, remember that sweater I gave you two years ago, do you still have it? I would love to see it on you."
And while we are on the subject of unanswered questions, can someone please explain to my why it takes a 4 year old girl one hour to eat a rice cracker?! I have had the pleasure of babysitting my friends 4 year old daughter while she took off to Vegas with her hubby. I have two little boys, and let me tell you, they are NOT the same! Yes, my boys are crazy. And yes, they will jump off the top of the slide at the pool. But never in a million years would they sit in front of me for a half hour asking a hundred questions about what I am doing, why I am doing it, or "where do cows come from?" Don't get me wrong, I am enjoying doing her hair, and playing dress up, but it made me really appreciate my little men, and all the craziness they bring to my life.
Tuesday 16 April 2013
The Super Awesome Summer to do list!
As I sit here on this beautiful Tuesday morning, sipping my coffee, listening to two little boys fight over a marshmallow gun, (not my idea!) it occurred to me that I have done a whole lot of nothing for the past month. So I made a list, the "Super Awesome Summer to do list". Follow me this summer as I brave into uncharted territory, learn new things, and have a lot of fun!
SUPER AWESOME SUMMER TO DO LIST: (in no particular order)
- plant a flower garden
- have a family picnic
- make wax paper stained glass
- get a wicked tan
- clean out my kitchen cupboards (not really awesome, but i really NEED to do it!)
- try 50 new recipes
- plant potatoes
- make an awesome chalkboard for my kitchen
- make masks with the boys
- make and decorate cardboard houses
- paint my craft room door. A door that leads to such awesomeness cannot be left white!
- make slime
- have a fun photo shoot with the boys
- start on Christmas gifts
- have a salt dough day
- make a sprinkler system out of pvc pipes
- have a water gun fight
- make fruit snacks
- make shoes...probably more like slippers
- finish last years scrapbook
- start my achievements book
- learn something new
- go camping
- paint my bike! dirty orange just wont do!
- read a book
- have a girls spa day
- have a boudoir photo shoot
- do the 30 day photography challenge. (thank you Pinterest)
- make a new friend
- paint a canvas
- take a photoshop course
- go on 20 spectacular dates (either with my husband or my two fantastic boys)
- master my out of control hair
- personalize my car
- make colorful spaghetti for the kids
- make a sparkle poster
- get a tattoo....or two
- make my bathroom awesome and romantic
- make a cake stand
- have a garage sale
- raise $4000 for charity....specifically the Concrete Hero race in Vancouver for the BC cancer foundation
- build a bbq pit
- have a bake sale
- write everyday! blog it, stick it, scribble it....
Now where should I start?!
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