My inner voice is a trainwreck

"The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice."


       I see this quote on facebook all the time. I scoff at it. I ignore it. I hate it. And not because I worry that I may be damaging my child, but because I know it to be true. My mother was very abusive to my sister and I, as children and as adults. Yes, she used to say we could do anything. But then say, "Well, you can't do that." She would often put us down and say, "You're not an artist." or "You don't have what it takes." She would get us excited and believing that we could do something great, then pull it out from under us. She could never celebrate achievements unless they were her own. She made it clear to me that I could never be an elite. Always just out of reach.

       We are all destined for greatness. It is in all of us to achieve, we just need to believe it. I have gone through my whole adult life in the same pattern. I will get excited about an idea, dream big, believe I can do it and go for it. Then I convince myself that I'm not good enough for it. Its ok to give up and be average. Its ok to not be totally awesome, you weren't meant to live that life anyway. Just give up..... you don't have it in you. This pattern is true for business, fitness goals, life. Although I didn't realize until today that it was still my mom talking in my head. It is still what I believe. It is still bringing me down, day after day. She created my inner voice.

       So now what? I know I must move forward knowing that my inner voice is not in fact my own. I need to re-create it. I need to remind myself that I am awesome. I need to be the inner voice I never had. I need to.

     And to all you great mammas out there, you are doing a fine job. Don't let that saying scare you. My mom was all kinds of crazy with a straightjacket cherry on top. Just remember that what you believe to be true, they will too. If you believe you aren't good enough, they might start to believe it too. When we are little we believe we can do anything. Don't let them lose that and you will do just fine.