I really don't love the idea of before and after photos when working out. It gives too many people that idea of our before picture was a less awesome version of you. All of the things you were before, you still are today. No matter what you weigh, no matter what size you are, you are beautiful. Everything about YOU is 100% awesomely yours. Start appreciating what your body can do. Feel beautiful at any size and any age. Next time your look in the mirror, say "Hey beautiful!".
I have struggled with weight and unhealthy eating habits for most of my life. I walked a hard road and was taught to eat my feelings, literally. I grew up not really knowing how to eat right and exercise. Its taken me much of my adult life to learn these things. I am still learning. I have also learned that its not about winning races, its about doing what you can do. Its not about looking like a fitness model, because you are beautiful too. Its not about "dieting" forever, its about a new lifestyle. I have learned to love myself no matter what and the number on a scale was just that, a number.
I'm not going to lie, I still tend to eat my feelings. And after going through what was probably the worst two years of my life, I had put on weight. I never knew for sure because I never stepped on a scale. At my yearly checkup this past week my doctor got me on that scale. I want to tell you what I weigh, to prove to you that weight doesn't matter. I weigh 212lbs. This bothered me. And I am the first to always tell people that weight doesn't matter. This time it did. I wrestled with it for a few days. Why did this number bother me? I talked it over with some close friends of mine one friend asked me how I felt? I had to let that one sit with me for a bit. I had been working so hard on improving my mental health, that I let me physical health slide. But now that I was really starting to feel better, I was noticing things I did not like. I had a hard time walking up stairs sometimes. I was having more issues with my asthma, and my knee was stating to ache. All of this made me realize that I had been taking advantage of my body and not giving it the proper nutrients it needed. I was filling my plate with high sugar and high fat foods, expecting them not to affect my health. So I made the decision to focus on my health, for the sake of my health, not my ego. I will not exercise like a manic and I will not diet. I am choosing to eat what my body needs and no more than that. I will no longer let my emotions choose the menu. I am actually sad that I will change shape. I love the beautiful curvy body that I have now. But I wan to be able to run with my kids, play basketball and kayak and all of the other things I love. I want to grow old for grandchildren. I want to have energy and I want to feel great, not just ok. So here is me in my before in all its curvy glory. All 212lbs of it. I post this knowing that all the awesomeness I am today, I will still be after.
