New phase.

I lost both of my parents three years ago. After years of abuse and abuse onto my two young sons, I walked away and said goodbye to my parents forever. Over the past three years there have been many phases. It first I was devastated. Devastated that my parents were no longer in my life, but more devastated that my own parents could treat me with such hate and even more devastated that I had suppressed it.

As the years went on, I grew onto anger and hatred. I lived there for far too long. I was so angry. So angry that I nearly pull my own arm off in my sleep. So angry that I cried. I couldn't see. I desperately wanted to let go. Then one day, I just felt sad. I actually missed them and that made me shameful. How could I miss them? A good friend of mine told me that this was just the next step. "You are moving on." I was tired of the steps. When do you get to the top?

Today was a clear day. I could never be thankful for what I went through. Until today. I am not happy for all of the things she was. Mean, cruel, vindictive, the victim, hard, and manipulating. But I am grateful. For if she were not these things, I would not have become what I needed most. I had to be compassionate, motivating, encouraging, strong, and loving. I needed these things in my life because they just weren't there otherwise. And for that I am grateful. I would not be this person without her.

Now as I move into the next phase of my life, I know that it is the perfect fit. Being a personal trainer includes all of these things that I had to get really good at. So today, I accept and I am thankful. I will rock this life, and I will be your shoulder when you need it.