S#!t my family says.

I have two little boys (and one big boy) that live in this house. I often feel outnumbered amidst the swirls of poop talk, smelly farts, and general rowdy behaviour. There are many times that I will just shake my head and walk away. My boys have a way with words to say the least. So here is a list of random things that have come out of the mouths of my sweet 4 and 6 year old boys.

• "This is a high pedestrian zone!" Levi yelled at me because he felt I was going too fast....in the driveway.
• "I'm parched."
• "Whoa! Naked Woman, put on a boob cover." From my 6 year old as I had just gotten out of bed at 6am.
• "I like my collar up, it makes me look handsome." Both of my boys have said a variation of this.
• "I am starving! Like a cow wanting to be milked." Not sure about that one... Thanks Austin.
• "Mom, I know why your tummy hurts." 
• Me: "Why?"
• "Because you are making a baby!"
• Me: (laughing) "Um no."
• "But then why is your belly so squishy?".... and there goes my self-esteem. Someone bring me chocolate!
• "You look sexy!" Self-esteem somewhat restored. 
• "Can I have a tutu? It's really more like a fancy belt. Boys are allowed those."
• "Does peanut butter come from bears?" Austin figured it must, since there is a bear on the container.
• "You know I am not in the mood for this!" Levi was mad about me trying to talk to him about how wrong it was to hit his brother.
• "It's all com-apart-able." 
• "I'm black toast intolerant." They are also lactose intolerant. 
• "You can't eat flowers. But worms are ok, right mom?"
• "Mom, the volcano poops are coming!"
• "My skin is bubble vaporizing." It was a really hot day and he was worried that he had a sun burn.
• "MOM! Smell my body."
• "I don't want the lemonade you fool!"
• "Girls love flowers. Put a pretty flower on anything and the girls will love it."  

I have saved the best for last. The other day, Levi came out of my bathroom with one of my tampons. He had unwrapped it and was "testing it".

"Mom! These are so awesome! What a great design! Do you see how the sponge part gets pushed out? You could use this for so many things?! I would like to know who invented them!"

A couple days later he was in my bathroom with a cut on his foot. The perfect opportunity to use one of these amazing inventions! Now I have to hide them.

Canning 101!

It's that time of year again! Fresh garden fruits and veggies and being processed and canned for the winter. I love, love this time of year!! The leaves are falling and the cool air brings the promise of wool socks, schedules, roasted veggies and the crackle of the wood fireplace. I have been canning for the past 7 years. Not because I love it, but I love that I can support a local farm and provide fresh fruit/veggies for my family throughout the winter. Call me crazy, but I like knowing where my food comes from and what is in it! Plus it's a lot cheaper than buying it in the store. Plus I have always been one to prepare and nest. A lot of people have asked me how to can, and even though I always welcome the help and someone to talk to, it doesn't always work out that way. So here is a little bit of how I can, step by step, and a few tried and true recipes. This may not be the best way, but this is how I was taught.

First of all, I have to say thank you to my friend Karla and her store, The Seasoned Kitchen. (http://www.theseasonedkitchen.ca/) She urged me to get a knife sharpener and am I ever thankful that she did! I could not imagine slicing 20lbs of tomatoes with a dull knife!

I use a pressure cooker for all my canning. I do this because that is how I was taught. I believe it's faster....even faster with two of them. So here is what you need to start:

• A shallow baking dish. 
• A pressure cooker
• Kettle
• A small pot
• Tongs
• A can lifter. (My technical term of course)
• Silicone oven mitts! ( I use silicone because you can get them wet and the steam wont burn you through the mitt)
• Jars with lids
• A canning funnel
• Sharp knives!
• Old towels 
• Whatever fruit, veggies, or fish you want to can! 

To get ready, I fill the baking dish with about an inch and a half of water, place it in a 200degree oven. This is where I put the washed jars while they wait to be filled. (After they are washed with soap and water.)

This is when I also fill the cooker with 3 litres of boiling water and lay out my towels, one for when they come out of the canner, and one for when I am filling the jars. Now you are ready! For this, I will show you how I made pickled jalapeños. (At the end I will post a couple other recipes.) 

You can slice the jalapeños however you want. Just make sure you do not touch your face, or anything else, while you are slicing and handling them. Wash your hands with soap and water when you are done. If you want them to be a little on the mild side, make sure you remove any seeds and white parts.  Next you are going to make the brine. I used this recipe and it was enough for 8-125ml jars.

• 2 cups white vinegar
• 2 cups water
• 2 TBSP salt
• Sliced garlic
• 1 TBSP honey

Mix everything in a pot and boil. Let simmer for 10 minutes. Once you have finished slicing, pack the jalapeños into the hot jars. 

Now is when you boil your lids before you put them on the jars. I boil mine for about 5 minutes. Fill the jars with your brine, leaving about a half inch from the top. Use a knife or chopstick to poke around the jar to get any air bubbles out. Be sure to wipe the rim of the jars before placing the lids on to make sure you get a good seal. Place the rings on, not overly tight. Now you are ready to place them in the pressure cooker! For mine, it takes a total of 20 minutes to process. 

Once they are done and the pressure is released from your cooker, they can be carefully removed. Place them on the towel and leave them to cool overnight before handling them. Then you can wash and store the jars.

This process is the same, whether you are doing salsa, peaches, pickles...whatever. Just the recipes change. 

Peaches:

For peaches, there are lot of recipes out there that say you have to make a syrup. I find this to be a waste of time. I always peel, pit and slice them, pack the jar full, put in a 1/4 cup of sugar per one pint jar, and fill with boiling water. (I use a butter knife in the jar when I pour the water in.) That is all. The peaches turn out amazing and fresh! You could also add brandy if you want. 

Salsa:

• 8 cups diced tomatoes (I used Roma)
• 2 1/2 cups diced green onion
• 1 1/2 cups diced green peppers
• 1 jalopeno 
• 6 cloves of garlic, diced
• 2 tsp cumin. I have also used 3 TBSP of Epicure's seasoning for Chipotle, Bacon and Cheddar dip. It adds a nice smoky flavour.  
• 2 tsp pepper
• 1/8 cup canning salt (Course salt)
• 1/4 cup sugar
• 1/3 cup vinegar
• 1 can tomato sauce
• 2- 5.5oz cans of tomato paste.

Mix everything in a giant pot and bring to a boil. Let simmer for 10-15 minutes. Fill hot jars and process. 

Happy Canning!!!

Camping trip 2014

This years trip began like any other... me stressed to the hills, frantically cramming every last thing into the trailer, cooking meals, baking and decorating cakes at the last minute, and jumping into the truck at the very last second.  Toothbrush in hand, shirt on backwards and my hair still un-brushed from the night before, I made it with most of my sanity still intact.

We began our trek to Osoyoos in the 26 degree heat. (Thank god for air conditioning!) The kids, the dog, and even the mother-in-law were all well behaved along the way. A quick stop in Hope for dinner, the same restaurant every time, and we were back on the road. We arrived at Haynes Point Osoyoos at 8:30pm.....31 degrees. This was the real start to our holiday, and this is what we accomplished/learned along the way:

1) Even though I don't make sense sometimes, Arthur always listens and tries to make me happy.
2) Bring a bike to ride and your kids will be happy. They never get tired of that!
3) Arthur beat me at chess and won't have a rematch! (For fear that I will kick his ass, the last match was close)
4) Kids who are camping consider 5am to be sleeping in....I do NOT!
5) Big hugs with close family is always as good as you remember.
6) A jump in a warm lake will cure just about any case of the grumpies.
7) Since we had other kids to play with, I only saw my kids when they were hungry or injured.
8) Austin likes to hide his injuries. Like when he got a stick to the ass that went through his pants. There is still a little hole there.
9) I read an entire novel in just over 24hours.
10) I get extra warm and fuzzies from buying from a real farm. 100lbs of potatoes, practically straight out of the ground, from a third generation farm.
11) We also got peaches, apples, tomatoes, and onions from a 4th generation fruit stand.
12) I have a fuck ton of canning to do.
13) Our dog loves Arthur more than me. He slept with his head on his lap the entire trip.
14) I picked jalapeños from Arthur's cousins garden and it has inspired me to have my own garden next year.
15) I want to sell everything and move to a farm in Grand Forks! (But that will never happen. lol When Arthur built our house, he wanted to put in an elevator for when the day comes he is too old to walk up the stairs.)
16) Little boys who stay up late and wake up early are prone to grumpy moods....This is also true for husbands.
17) We took 5 trips to various grocery stores for food and stuff we either ran out of or completely forgot.
18) I am so thankful that Arthur is the weird man he is. He is the only man I know who will bring a generator and the coffee maker camping, so we can have fresh coffee every morning....and once at the ferry terminal in the rain on the way home.
19) My kids are growing up so fast! They hardly needed me on this trip, which was a good thing, but still sad.
20) Arthur and I should not be allowed into Costco! But I am thankful to have a full pantry and freezer....and Halloween costumes for the boys!
21) As much as I hate the ferry, Vancouver traffic, and trying to get home, I am always happy to get home. And since we came home a day early, I have a full day to drink coffee in my jammies, eat peaches to my hearts content, and soak up the cool, rainy, September air.