S#!t my family says.

I have two little boys (and one big boy) that live in this house. I often feel outnumbered amidst the swirls of poop talk, smelly farts, and general rowdy behaviour. There are many times that I will just shake my head and walk away. My boys have a way with words to say the least. So here is a list of random things that have come out of the mouths of my sweet 4 and 6 year old boys.

• "This is a high pedestrian zone!" Levi yelled at me because he felt I was going too fast....in the driveway.
• "I'm parched."
• "Whoa! Naked Woman, put on a boob cover." From my 6 year old as I had just gotten out of bed at 6am.
• "I like my collar up, it makes me look handsome." Both of my boys have said a variation of this.
• "I am starving! Like a cow wanting to be milked." Not sure about that one... Thanks Austin.
• "Mom, I know why your tummy hurts." 
• Me: "Why?"
• "Because you are making a baby!"
• Me: (laughing) "Um no."
• "But then why is your belly so squishy?".... and there goes my self-esteem. Someone bring me chocolate!
• "You look sexy!" Self-esteem somewhat restored. 
• "Can I have a tutu? It's really more like a fancy belt. Boys are allowed those."
• "Does peanut butter come from bears?" Austin figured it must, since there is a bear on the container.
• "You know I am not in the mood for this!" Levi was mad about me trying to talk to him about how wrong it was to hit his brother.
• "It's all com-apart-able." 
• "I'm black toast intolerant." They are also lactose intolerant. 
• "You can't eat flowers. But worms are ok, right mom?"
• "Mom, the volcano poops are coming!"
• "My skin is bubble vaporizing." It was a really hot day and he was worried that he had a sun burn.
• "MOM! Smell my body."
• "I don't want the lemonade you fool!"
• "Girls love flowers. Put a pretty flower on anything and the girls will love it."  

I have saved the best for last. The other day, Levi came out of my bathroom with one of my tampons. He had unwrapped it and was "testing it".

"Mom! These are so awesome! What a great design! Do you see how the sponge part gets pushed out? You could use this for so many things?! I would like to know who invented them!"

A couple days later he was in my bathroom with a cut on his foot. The perfect opportunity to use one of these amazing inventions! Now I have to hide them.