Mothers Day

Mothers Day is all about treating your mom like a queen. Appreciating her for all that she has done for you, pampering her, and letting her know how much you love her. But for some, it's not all sunshine and rainbows.

This time of year is always hard for me and I know I am not the only one. Its hard because many people can't understand. Unless you have lived through it you could never know what it feels like to be abused by your mother. The pain can never be explained. It's hard to watch everyone post about how wonderful their mom is and how much they love them, when I am sitting over here wishing this day never existed. My mom, the woman who used to put salt on the top of my hands and beat them with a wooden spoon, gets praise for just being a mom. It hurts even more when I think about all that I am missing out on. I never had a mom that I could talk to. I never had a mom I could trust. My mom would help me out in tough times, sure. But she would hold it against me for all eternity. "Remember that time.... you owe me." So when all my friends are going on about how great their moms are, I am constantly reminded of how mine hurt me time after time. It's so hard to put that aside....

But not all hope is lost. As a mom of two little boys, I forgot to see it from their eyes. It is a constant struggle for me to be a good mom. And who could blame me, I had the worst example to follow. The great thing is, I have amazing examples all around me. It's my friends (also mothers) who are teaching me what it truly means to be a great mom. I am so grateful for the moms who teach me what true love looks like. They teach me that it's ok to let go, it's ok to cry, it's ok to love and its ok to make mistakes. Being a mom is such a hard job, but I know I can rock it because I have all of these great examples to follow. This mothers day I want to celebrate them! And I want to celebrate me and my sister! Despite all of the odds, we have overcome. My sister and I have ended the cycle of abuse! Our kids will never know what its like to grow up in fear. They will never feel the pain of abandonment. They will grow up knowing what a good mom looks like. They will always know love and will always have someone who's got their back. That is what I am celebrating this mothers day. So if you see me (or my sister) give and extra hug this mothers day. Because as much as we try to be strong, this pain will always be there. Happy Mother's Day to all of the truly great moms out there. I salute you.