Re-wired

I fully believe that becoming a mother somehow changed the wiring in my brain forever.  When my first screaming bundle of joy came shooting out of my not so privates, he somehow took parts of my brain with him. The very minute you become a mother, your life changes forever. For me that moment was when I held my son in my arms. (Even typing this, five years later, it still sounds weird....my son...) You are now responsible for a human being...in every way. You start to look at things differently, you act differently, you even talk differently. Here are some of the main examples of how life as I knew it was different.

1) Everything was dangerous. Is that bottle too hot? Your hands have germs, bleach them. The sun is out, I need SPF 50, a hat, sunglasses, and umbrella, and a sun suit. You buckle them in, check it twice, and everyone is driving too fast. You will stop at every corner to make sure they haven't choked, check on them in the night to make sure they are still breathing, even wake them up to make sure they are still alive. The world becomes a wild jungle of death!

2) Sleep becomes the holy grail. I sometimes find myself wishing it was Saturday...on a Monday, just because I know there is a slight chance that I will get to sleep in. I often wake up in the morning and can't wait for bedtime, just so I can go back to bed. And don't even think about catching a little cat nap while your kids are quietly watching a movie. They have some kind of radar that lets them know the exact moment you are asleep so they can raid the pantry and pour a box of baking soda on your living room floor. Full night sleeps don't exist....ever.

3) Simple tasks become increasingly difficult. Like math, or any logic, really.  I don't even bother to do the banking anymore. "Just add GST to the price." They say, like it's no big deal. Or "Whats 12 times 3?" QUIT HARASSING ME!

4) Grocery shopping becomes more fun, because I get to plan the meals. Extra grocery money for the week is even more exciting and grocery shopping on my own....there are no words that can explain the thrill of grocery shopping without a screaming child, strange looks from passerby's, or someone pulling everything and anything into the cart.

5) Things that never mattered before get you over the moon with delight now. Like a hot shower, or a hot meal. New socks and underwear, two hours of sleep without someone crying, coffee, a clean load of laundry, or even a new scent of dish soap. A cupcake and a cup of coffee in a quiet house at 7am is like winning the lottery.

6) You care less and less about personal hygiene. There are so many times I have left the house thinking, I really should wash my hair.... Or those times when you catch a glimpse of yourself in a reflection and think, did I really leave the house like that?! I started growing my hair long just so I don't have to go get it cut all the time, and it's much easier to throw in a ponytail for those mornings when I don't have time to brush it. Which, lets face it, is every morning.

I am sure there are more examples, but my now tiny brain can't remember them. Even though my life may seem like a total train wreck, I love my boys and my little family with all my heart. The little "I love you" in their tiny voices seem to make up for all the craziness, poop, and sleepless nights.